Wedding, commitment or ring vows are a statement of intent, a promise or pledge to your partner. They are made with sincerity and speak from the heart of one person to the heart of another. They are emotionally and spiritually binding.
“It is said that it takes two people to speak the truth – one to speak it and another to hear it”. H D Thoreau 1817-1862
Vows can be religious, civil or non-religious, traditional or non-traditional. They can be simple and traditional, elaborate love-vows or even contain humorous themes. Here are some examples to inspire you when you are writing your vows.
Humorous wedding vows - “With this trusty crew here present as witnesses, I, Mary, take ye, John as me Husband, me Heart, me Soul, me Salty Pup with a crooked smile, the foggy haze of each new day and the lumpy (but familiar) mattress of each day’s night. I promise to love ye and honor ye; to make ye laugh so hard………….”
Love wedding vows - “I give myself wholeheartedly to you and our life together, I vow that I will work hard to make our life continue full of warmth, richness and joy. I vow I will be faithful and true and honest in all the challenges of life that lie ahead of us……….”
Traditional ring vows – “Mary, this ring is my gift and promise of love, trust and pride, that you are my wife. Take it and wear it always as a symbol of all that we share……..”
Traditional wedding vows - ” I Mary, take you John, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, so long as we both shall……….”
Are you writing wedding vows, commitment or gay wedding vows or are you renewing your wedding vows?
Are there any rules to observe when writing wedding vows?
In Australia there is a legal requirement for the bride and groom to say a pre-amble to their vows, “I ask these people here present to witness, that I, John/Mary, take you Mary/John, to be my wife/husband”. These words must preface any personal vows or promises between the bride and groom. In other jurisdictions check with your celebrant or officiant.
When writing personal wedding vows, try this exercise……..
Have an imaginary conversation with your loved one about your vows. What promises would you make? What is important to you? Write your promises down, think about them, maybe add or subtract from them, embellish them a little.
Better still, ask your partner to have the same imaginary conversation and see what you each come up with. You may find it easier than you first imagined. If you want to keep them a secret from one another that’s OK, many couples do.
Do I have to memorize my vows?
Vows can be repeated after the celebrant, read from a card, spoken alternately or together. Wedding ceremonies are highly emotionally charged times so no one is expected to remember…….adrenalin does funny things to memories sometimes! Vows need not be the same, indeed the couple often write their vows separately. Vows create a blueprint of promises you intend to keep.Vows can and should be the most beautiful and moving collection of words spoken at a wedding, reaffirmation of vows, commitment or gay marriage ceremony.
Remember, if you intend to write your wedding vows……
There are likely to be people attending your ceremony, for whom a civil ceremony is new. If your words are sincere and reflect your own beliefs, thoughts and feelings you will find that everyone will respect your chosen style of vows.
Personalized, thoughtful, sincere vows give you the chance to declare your solemn intentions to the one person in the world who matters most to you at a time when you are closing one door and opening another on your journey together. Make your vows really, really special…you will both remember them forever.
About this author: Elizabeth Gray is an Australian celebrant. She conducts ceremonies for many of life’s important events. For all the information you could want on vows go to:
http://www.weddingvows101.net/
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