What are vows? Vows are a statement of intent, a promise or pledge to your partner. Vows are made with sincerity and speak from the heart of one person to the heart of another. They are emotionally and spiritually binding and are often the only part of the ceremony that the bride and groom can remember.
“It is said that it takes two people to speak the truth – one to speak it and another to hear it”. H D Thoreau 1817-1862
Do you intend writing your own vows?
Vows can be religious, civil or non-religious, traditional or non-traditional. They can be taken from other cultures. They can be simple and traditional, elaborate love-vows or even contain humorous themes. Vows can be a combination of styles or cultural traditions but most of all they are your words. They are meaningful for you. Are yours to be marriage vows, ring vows, commitment or gay wedding vows or are you renewing your wedding vows?
Make it easier for yourself…..
Have an imaginary conversation with your loved one about your vows. What promises would you make? Write your promises down, think about them, maybe embellish them a little.
Better still, ask your partner to have the same imaginary conversation and see what you each come up with. You may find it easier than you first imagined.
Are there any rules?
In Australia there is a legal requirement for the bride and groom to be heard saying, “I ask these people here present to witness, that I, John/Mary, take you Mary/John, to be my wife/husband”. So these words must preface any personal vows or promises between the bride and groom.
Do I have to memorize my marriage or ring vows?
Vows can be repeated after the celebrant, read from a card, spoken alternately or together. They can vary from the traditional, ” …….to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, so long as we both shall live”, to the not so traditional where the bride and groom make very personalized and lengthy statements of well articulated promises relating to their new lifelong responsibilities, to protect, to give joy, health, fidelity, commitment, contentment, trust, friendship and love to the relationship.
Vows need not be the same, indeed the bride and groom often write their marriage and ring vows separately, give them to the celebrant in separate envelopes and not heard until the ceremony. Vows create a blueprint of promises you intend to keep. They can and should be the most beautiful and moving collection of words spoken at a wedding, reaffirmation of vows or commitment or gay marriage ceremony.
Make your marriage and ring vows really special
There are likely to be people attending your ceremony, for who a civil ceremony is new. If your words are sincere and reflect your own beliefs, you will find that everyone will respect your chosen style of ceremony. Personalized, thoughtful sincere vows give you the chance to declare your solemn intentions to the one person in the world who matters most to you at a time when you are closing one door and opening another on your journey together. Make your vows really, really special…you will both remember them forever.
About this author:
Elizabeth Gray is an Australian celebrant. She conducts ceremonies for life’s important events.
For more information on vows, samples and examples go to:
http://www.weddingvows101.net/
http://www.ring-vows.com
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