Marriages
If you don’t want to have your wedding ceremony in a church with a religious celebrant, then you need to find a civil marriage celebrant to officiate for you. Civil celebrants in Australia are not confined to any exclusive area, so the choice is yours completely. And therein lies the problem: there are hundreds and hundreds of Celebrants throughout Australia, so where do you start looking?
A personal referral from someone you know is often times helpful. You could try the yellow pages but if you’re a little like me, you may find opening the yellow pages and ringing people “cold” a little daunting.
If you are just price hunting, that might be the way to go, but if you are looking for a better celebrant; a celebrant who offers substantially more than the average, it can be difficult to determine whether a celebrant is equipped to provide you with the service you particularly desire.
What should you be looking for? What questions should you ask?
Your ceremony is the most important part of your wedding day, and it is important that you find a professional celebrant who will work with you, prepare, rehearse and officiate at a really beautiful ceremony in accordance with your wishes. Celebrants are people, and different celebrants suit different people. All celebrants are bound by a Code of Conduct which can be obtained from your celebrant or from the website www.ag.gov.au/celebrants.
When you do contact a Celebrant, look for all the hallmarks of professionalism to guide you in your discussions. What to look for:
- A Celebrant who has a well organized planning, consultative procedure in place to get you from the first point of contact, to your wedding day with a maximum of desired input from yourself and your wedding party, but with a minimum of anxiety.
- A Celebrant who doesn’t discount his or her fee just to secure your booking.
- You are given complete choice of your ceremony, supplied with information to assist you in the planning of your ceremony.
- At a relaxed interview with the celebrant you can discuss all your wedding ceremony requirements.
- You are offered unlimited consultation by phone, fax, e-mail or in person with the Celebrant.
- You are offered a rehearsal at the Celebrants office or an on-site rehearsal.
- You are offered a printed copy of your ceremony
- Your wedding certificate will be prepared in a professionally printed manner.
- Appreciation certificates are provided for the bridal party and others on request.
- Ample time – a guarantee that no other wedding will be booked so close that the Celebrant arrives late or rushes out in an unseemly manner.
- You receive a personal guarantee that the Celebrant will become familiar with the ceremony beforehand, and will speak in a sincere and interested manner.
- As far as possible, the Celebrant will dress to fit in with your wedding to suit the formality or informality of the ceremony.
What should be discussed when I first contact a celebrant?
- Availability and Time required — it’s always good to have an alternative time up your sleeve. Better Celebrants are often booked well ahead at the prime times. (Saturdays 3-6pm) If a celebrant is already booked there is no point in going any further.
- The type of ceremony you think you would like to have. Types of ceremonies include:
- Traditional Western Ceremony conducted casually or more formally.
- Held at a venue varying from a garden setting to on a boat, roof- top, beach, deconsecrated church, home, for example.
- Mixed or single Culture Ceremonies where differing customs are observed. For example, Jewish and Catholic, Greek and Traditional Western, Medieval, Celtic, African and Traditional Western, Japanese and Traditional Western.
- A ceremony where not only the couple but their family and guests may participate.
Ensure the celebrant will collaborate with you to put your special wishes and desires into action. The act of creating an original and totally personal ceremony can be very intimate and exposing. By not ‘going through the motions’ with traditional ceremony, you are in fact stepping forward and exposing the very personal nature of your relationship. This makes for very memorable and emotionally charged events.
Discuss your “special” wishes up front. You will find some Celebrants will definitely not fall out of planes at 15,000 feet or don a scuba diving suit. Believe me I am one who won’t! Again, if you hit a brick wall at this stage of your conversation there’s no point in going any further.
- What documentation is required? You and your partner will have to provide particulars of birth, residency status, and in the case of a previous marriage a Certificate of Divorce (proof of divorce) is required. In the case of the death of a previous spouse a death certificate is required. A Government form, the Notice of Intended Marriage (right-click, choose Save Target As, or Save Link As) must be completed and lodged with your celebrant at least one month and one day prior to your wedding date. You can click on the above link to access and print this form, or if you would like me to post one to you, please contact me. You will need to bring this completed form with you (along with other documents) to your first meeting with any Celebrant. [I keep copies of this document and can provide one at an initial meeting.]
- How do you actually end up with the ceremony of your choice on your wedding day? The process begins with your initial phone call or email when preliminary information is discussed and continues at our first meeting (see below) between the couple and the Celebrant. By mutual arrangement the process continues via mail, phone, fax or e-mail until the second meeting / rehearsal when final ceremonial details are put into place.
First Meeting between the Couple and the Celebrant
This meeting is usually held at the Celebrant’s home / office and is an integral part of the process of getting married. It can be anything from about 18 months prior to your wedding day to a little more than a month before. It would be helpful to the choice and formation of your ceremony for you to think about yourselves as individuals and as a couple; analyse your thoughts and feelings about your values, beliefs, hopes, desires and dreams, as individuals and as a couple in a relationship.
A beautiful, meaningful and memorable wedding ceremony doesn’t have to be long-winded and boring. We’ve all sat through long, tortuous and sometimes religious ceremonies without really understanding what was going on (let alone what was being said). Suffice to say, the desire for a very short wedding ceremony of your own could be the result. This is almost always a mistake. Please, don’t embarrass your guests by opting for a very short ceremony. We can work together to create a ceremony that will be remembered.
For couples enquiring from overseas and mainland Australia
The procedure prior to the ceremony will need to be modified slightly.
- Initial enquiry is usually by email or phone
- The Notice of Intended Marriage document must be in my hands at the latest one calendar month and one day prior to the proposed ceremony date. A faxed copy is acceptable to meet a date deadline but the original is required and can be given to me later. The other document you will be required to show is your birth certificate. Proof of [the most recent] divorce or death of a spouse must also be produced if applicable. Certified copies of these additional documents can also be faxed as soon as they are available. I like to see the originals of these as well.
- Payment of a non-refundable deposit of $100 is essential so I can reserve your date and time, and process your documentation
- On receipt of your deposit, I will email to you a compilation of ceremony information in Microsoft Word format (word doc.) or express post it to you.
- We then email or mail drafts of your ceremony to each other until you are both happy with it.
- We’ll need to meet a day or two prior to your ceremony for completion of your documentation and a rehearsal of your ceremony ideally at the venue.
- Payment of the remainder of my fee is usually paid at this time as well.
Rehearsal
One of the most important reasons for having a full rehearsal is the importance of PROCESS. By that I mean: “a wedding ceremony is meant to bond not only the bride and groom, not only the two families, not only the two sets of friends, but it specially honours and bonds all the wedding party participants to the bride and groom and with each other. The rehearsal enhances and underlines all this. People usually have a wonderful time at a rehearsal. It is a special and memorable coming together and bonding of friends in a psychologically permanent way.” (Dally Messenger III)
A rehearsal familiarises all parties with the ceremony itself; who stands where, who speaks when, etc… When held at the ceremony venue, a rehearsal familiarizes everyone with the venue, parking and traveling time. The rehearsal is a vital opportunity for participants of the ceremony to practice readings, and can assist to quell any nervousness, and show up lack of clarity or volume problems. In order for the ceremony to be understood, appreciated and enjoyed by all present, every aspect of it must be seen and heard.
Music
Music plays a very important part in your ceremony. It reflects you; it can be mood-setting, uplifting, inspiring. And it’s your choice. I give you a wide range of songs and music to choose from if you need suggestions.Consider having live musicians, community singing, a choir, dancing, favourite music with film/slides of yourselves.I also have a list of great musicians available here in Tasmania.
Here’s a wonderful example of what one couple did that I love!!!
Readings
Readings are an important part of any wedding ceremony whether they are poems, verse or prose. Readings continue to express your feelings and thoughts; punctuate the ceremony and add interest, light and shade. Readings /poetry can be serious or humorous, and may be shared by a number of readers.
Good readers enhance a wedding ceremony. Readers usually need to practice their entire reading as most read too fast and require practice. Readers if available are a priority at a rehearsal.
Cultural traditions and/or rituals can be incorporated into any ceremony. The addition of a cultural ritual will add special meaning to your ceremony for you, your friends and your family.Your ceremony will be remembered by friends and family long after other ceremonies have been forgotten.
Payment for the ceremony:
My celebrant fee is $395. There’s a non-refundable booking fee of $100 payable on booking, or at our first meeting [whichever is the sooner]. I will set aside time in my diary specifically for your ceremony, your interview and your second meeting / rehearsal, and will take no other bookings that will clash or impinge on your time. The balance of payment is $295 and is paid at the rehearsal along with any additional fees, a week or so prior to the wedding day. I accept direct deposits, cheques, money orders or cash.
What your payment includes:
- Lodging of all legal documents
- A comprehensive compilation of ceremony material including many complete ceremonies to peruse for ideas.
- Cultural rituals/traditions and their origins for you to consider and use as inspiration.
- Readings, poetry and verses to consider and to give you inspiration……from Shakespeare to A.A. Milne, Chinese philosophers to Psalms.
- Music and songs for you to consider for ceremonial inclusion. Information regarding Tasmanian musicians available on request.
- A resources list on request – musicians/singers, photographers, florists, hairdressers/makeup, wedding cake maker,supplier of chairs/bali flags/glasses etc
- A full wedding party rehearsal at the chosen ceremony venue or at my office/home
- A Presentation / Commemorative copy of your wedding ceremony
- A laser printed Marriage Certificate.
- Appreciation certificates for the Bridal party and any additional ceremonial participants. (readers) on request.Memento certificates for all children participating.
- A guaranteed 30 minutes arrival at the ceremony venue before the scheduled commencement time.
- A personal guarantee that I will not rush away immediately at the conclusion of the ceremony.
- A personal guarantee of my total familiarity with your ceremony and also that my part will be read with total interest and sincerity.
- To the best of my ability I will dress according to the level of formality or informality required taking into account the colours worn by the bridal party. I am also happy to dress thematically if desired. (eg: medieval attire)
- The provision of a portable CD/iPod player when and where required.
- A comprehensive checklist/guide for the bride and groom to ensure a successful and minimum stress wedding day.
- A hints and tips guide for the ceremonial readers to help overcome any nervous problems and assist with voice clarity and volume.
- Pre marriage relationship education facilities information for couples.
- Unlimited access to me at all times to discuss ceremonial matters…..email, phone, fax or with me 1:1 by appointment.
Additional Expenses may include:
- Travelling. A ceremony and or rehearsal out of the Hobart metropolitan area will incur a charge for petrol and my time (for distances of more than 80Km round trip).
- A PA system, if required, can be made available on a for-hire basis.
- Provision of witnesses can be arranged for an additional fee.
- Table, cloth; chair, wine glasses, a bottle opener, etc.. can also be provided for a small fee.
What’s the next step?
Check my calendar and see if I’m available for your date. If I am, please get in touch!
Did you know I also have wedding ceremony e-books?
http://www.wedding-ceremonies.net