So many marriages these days are second marriages, sometimes third marriages, couples marrying again as a result of divorce from or death of a partner. The statistics tell us that over 50% of all marriages will end in divorce, sad but true. But so many couples find fulfilling relationships and lasting happiness second or third time around and are seeking a guide to the ceremony and the celebration.
Should we have a big wedding celebration or not? Should it be just a small wedding? Should we invite all the relatives? Perhaps we should elope, just the two of us! Is there a protocol for second weddings? These are some of the real thoughts, real concerns, that couples have.
A rite of passage as momentous as a second wedding is worthy of celebrating.
A ceremony is the vehicle or the means by which we as people move from one phase of our lives to the next. A ceremony serves to remind us of what we are doing, of our responsibilities and goes a long way in preparing us for our new station in life.
The size or extent of your 2nd marriage celebration depends on you, your budget, your total personal situation. Maybe you had the ‘big’ wedding first time. Maybe you were married in a Registry office or by a JP. You will know what you want this time, what best fits with your inner thoughts and feelings.
The start of a new life will also include your immediate families. They are a part of your life whether you are married or not. Under normal circumstances they will want to celebrate with you, share your happiness at your new start. Ask for the blessing of your family. Deep down we seek their approval.
Similarly your community of friends, those who have been supportive, caring, a shoulder to lean on in needy times, celebrated and shared with you in happy times. These people are an integral part of your lives as well and at a time like this they will especially want to be with you. Often immediate family, parents, siblings are scattered and your community of friends can be like family to you. Your community of friends can also be given the opportunity to give their blessings collectively to your second marriage as part of the ceremony.
If either of you have children you may decide to include them in your second wedding ceremony. They could join you in a family unity candle or a ribbon ceremony, recite a reading or say their own vows. The children may wish not to participate but merely attend. One child may speak on behalf of all the children. Either way they can be acknowledged in the ceremony.
Whatever you decide to do, celebrate your second wedding ceremony in a thoughtful, meaningful manner. Your hopes, wishes and desires for each other as individuals and for your combined future together can all be articulated. Whatever is said, say in your words. When thinking of what to say, imagine that you and your partner are having an intimate discussion about your relationship. Write things down, no matter how simple or basic they seem. This is a new beginning for you both, make it memorable for all the right reasons.
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